It’s been a long and busy (but exciting!) weekend of auditions. I submitted a tape for a film, auditioned for a film in person, then went in for a commercial, a play, and a short play festival. I got a callback for the short play festival, which was super exciting, and went back (to Brooklyn!) for that this morning. I’m a bit exhausted now, but it’s good to feel like things are (maybe sort of kind of) happening!

I’m one of those kind of weird people who really, really loves to audition. This could be because I haven’t worked very much, but to me, auditioning is an opportunity to act! It’s a chance (usually my only chance) to experiment with different interesting characters, most of whom I’ll never get to take any further. Auditioning gives me the opportunity to find new parts of myself, and try different things. I think of it like scene study class, but free! Auditioning is a chance to perform, to put on a little show. For 30 seconds or a minute or two minutes, people are watching ME! And while I love performing my monologues (new and improved, thanks to the fabulous Victor Verhaeghe!), I really love getting sides.

I’m lucky enough to have a pretty fantastic memory, which means I can memorize pages of dialogue quite quickly. Yesterday, I learned a full page of dialogue, my callback piece, before the F train made it from 4th Avenue-9th Street Brooklyn into Manhattan. Bizarrely, I really enjoy the process of learning lines, which is probably another really strange thing. Memorizing my lines quickly means I can walk down the street, without my sides in hand, “rehearsing” (I’ve discovered that if you do this with headphones on, people assume you’re talking on the phone. I hope.). And by rehearsing, I mean trying the lines in different ways, waiting for it to click, waiting for it to make sense, waiting to find the meaning in the dialogue. And the funny thing is–it always does. I’ve gotten a lot of sides–for auditions and for classes–and been like, what is this casting director thinking? This character is nothing like me! I hate this one! But somehow, I always seem to figure it out. I don’t think I’ve ever done a scene and not totally fallen in love with the character. I’m sure it’s possible, but I’m still waiting for a character that I don’t desperately want to play.

The bad part of auditions is waiting for a response afterwards. Well, not bad, I guess–just significantly less fun! I’ve learned not to expect one, but lately, I’ve gotten some nice feedback. Last week, I got two separate e-mails and a phone call telling me that the respective directors were very impressed with my auditions, but that I just wasn’t right for the part in question. All three said they hoped to work with me in the future. It’s not exactly what I’m hoping for–I want to act!–but it’s nice to get positive feedback. I keep reminding myself that maybe someday in the future I will work with those directors again. I also keep reminding myself that the more times I audition, the more opportunities I give directors to say yes–and all I need is one person to say yes.

In the meantime, I’m off to look for more auditions!